On the 14th of July his fellow-traveller and himself took their
departure from Constantinople on board the Salsette frigate,--Mr.
Hobhouse with the intention of accompanying the ambassador to England,
and Lord Byron with the resolution of visiting his beloved Greece
again. To Mr. Adair he appeared, at this time, (and I find that Mr.
Bruce, who met him afterwards at Athens, conceived the same impression
of him,) to be labouring under great dejection of spirits. One
circumstance related to me, as having occurred in the course of the
passage, is not a little striking. Perceiving, as he walked the deck,
a small yataghan, or Turkish dagger, on one of the benches, he took
it up, unsheathed it, and, having stood for a few moments
contemplating the blade, was heard to say, in an under voice, "I
should like to know how a person feels after committing a murder!" In
this startling speech we may detect, I think, the germ of his future
Giaours and Laras. This intense _wish_ to explore the dark workings of
the passions was what, with the aid of imagination, at length
generated the _power_; and that faculty which entitled him afterwards
to be so truly styled "the searcher of dark bosoms," may be traced to,
perhaps, its earliest stirrings in the sort of feeling that produced
these words.
On their approaching the island of Zea, he expressed a wish to be put
on shore. Accordingly, having taken leave of his companions, he was
landed upon this small island, with two Albanians, a Tartar, and one
English servant; and in one of his manuscripts he has himself
described the proud, solitary feeling with which he stood to see the
ship sail swiftly away--leaving him there, in a land of strangers
alone.
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