To both, if they are to be right, he attributes the same
nature and condition. "We are not what we are," says he,
"nor do we treat or esteem each other for such, but for what
we are capable of being." "A friend is one who incessantly
pays us the compliment of expecting all the virtues from us,
and who can appreciate them in us." "The friend asks no
return but that his friend will religiously accept and wear
and not disgrace his apotheosis of him." "It is the merit
and preservation of friendship that it takes place on a level
higher than the actual characters of the parties would seem
to warrant." This is to put friendship on a pedestal indeed;
and yet the root of the matter is there; and the last
sentence, in particular, is like a light in a dark place, and
makes many mysteries plain. We are different with different
friends; yet if we look closely we shall find that every such
relation reposes on some particular apotheosis of oneself;
with each friend, although we could not distinguish it in
words from any other, we have at least one special reputation
to preserve: and it is thus that we run, when mortified, to
our friend or the woman that we love, not to hear ourselves
called better, but to be better men in point of fact. We
seek this society to flatter ourselves with our own good
conduct. And hence any falsehood in the relation, any
incomplete or perverted understanding, will spoil even the
pleasure of these visits.
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