" Pepys talked
about being "a Quaker or some very melancholy thing;" for my
part, I can imagine nothing so melancholy, because nothing
half so silly, as to be concerned about such problems. But
so respectability and the duties of society haunt and burden
their poor devotees; and what seems at first the very
primrose path of life, proves difficult and thorny like the
rest. And the time comes to Pepys, as to all the merely
respectable, when he must not only order his pleasures, but
even clip his virtuous movements, to the public pattern of
the age. There was some juggling among officials to avoid
direct taxation; and Pepys, with a noble impulse, growing
ashamed of this dishonesty, designed to charge himself with
1000 pounds; but finding none to set him an example, "nobody
of our ablest merchants" with this moderate liking for clean
hands, he judged it "not decent;" he feared it would "be
thought vain glory;" and, rather than appear singular,
cheerfully remained a thief. One able merchant's
countenance, and Pepys had dared to do an honest act! Had he
found one brave spirit, properly recognised by society, he
might have gone far as a disciple. Mrs. Turner, it is true,
can fill him full of sordid scandal, and make him believe,
against the testimony of his senses, that Pen's venison pasty
stank like the devil; but, on the other hand, Sir William
Coventry can raise him by a word into another being.
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