Garrison not only had the route mapped out, but
had, I believe, selected the steamer upon which we were to sail.
The whole thing was so sudden and so unexpected that I was
completely taken off my feet. I had been at work steadily for
eighteen years in connection with Tuskegee, and I had never thought of
anything else but ending my life in that way. Each day the school
seemed to depend upon me more largely for its daily expenses, and I
told these Boston friends that, while I thanked them sincerely for
their thoughtfulness and generosity, I could not go to Europe, for the
reason that the school could not live financially while I was absent.
They then informed me that Mr. Henry L. Higginson, and some other good
friends who I know do not want their names made public, were then
raising a sum of money which would be sufficient to keep the school in
operation while I was away. At this point I was compelled to
surrender. Every avenue of escape had been closed.
Deep down in my heart the whole thing seemed more like a dream
than like reality, and for a long time it was difficult for me to make
myself believe that I was actually going to Europe. I had been born
and largely reared in the lowest depths of slavery, ignorance, and
poverty. In my childhood I had suffered for want of a place to sleep,
for lack of food, clothing, and shelter.
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