The influence of such things is a pleasant one, they
say, at first, but I would not go through such agonies as I had for
the world!"
She ceased, evidently troubled by the harassing remembrance. Donal
hastened to speak.
"It was because of such a suspicion, my lady, that this evening I
would not even taste his wine. I am safe to-night, I trust, from the
insanity--I can call it nothing else--that possessed me the last two
nights."
"Was it very dreadful?" asked lady Arctura.
"On the contrary, I had a sense of life and power such as I could
never of myself have imagined!"
"Oh, Mr. Grant, do take care! Do not be tempted to take it again. I
don't know where it might not have led me if I had found it as
pleasant as it was horrible; for I am sorely tried with painful
thoughts, and feel sometimes as if I would do almost anything to get
rid of them."
"There must be a good way of getting rid of them! Think it of God's
mercy," said Donal, "that you cannot get rid of them the other way."
"I do; I do!"
"The shield of his presence was over you."
"How glad I should be to think so! But we have no right to think he
cares for us till we believe in Christ--and--and--I don't know that
I do believe in him!"
"Wherever you learned that, it is a terrible lie," said Donal. "Is
not Christ the same always, and is he not of one mind with God? Was
it not while we were yet sinners that he poured out his soul for us?
It is a fearful thing to say of the perfect Love, that he is not
doing all he can, with all the power of a maker over the creature he
has made, to help and deliver him!"
"I know he makes his sun to shine and his rain to fall upon the evil
and the good; but those good things are only of this world!"
"Are those the good things then that the Lord says the Father will
give to those that ask him? How can you worship a God who gives you
all the little things he does not care much about, but will not do
his best for you?"
"But are there not things he cannot do for us till we believe in
Christ?"
"Certainly there are.
Pages:
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277