He only knew, or
imagined, that he was over head and ears in love with the girl: what
was to come of it was all in the clouds. He had said he meant to
marry her; but to that statement he had been driven, more than he
knew, by the desire to escape the contempt of the tutor he scorned;
and he rejoiced that he had at least discomfited him. He knew that
if he did marry Eppy, or any one else of whom his father did not
approve, he had nothing to look for but absolute poverty, for he
knew no way to earn money; he was therefore unprepared to defy him
immediately--whatever he might do by and by. He said to himself
sometimes that he was as willing as any man to work for his wife if
only he knew how; but when he said so, had he always a clear vision
of Eppy as the wife in prospect? Alas, it would take years to make
him able to earn even a woman's wages! It would be a fine thing for
a lord to labour like a common man for the support of a child of the
people for whom he had sacrificed everything; but where was the
possibility? When thoughts like these grew too many for him, Forgue
wished he had never seen the girl. His heart would immediately
reproach him; immediately he would comfort his conscience with the
reflection that to wish he had never seen her was a very different
thing from wishing to act as if he had. He loafed about in her
neighbourhood as much as he dared, haunted the house itself in the
twilight, and at night even ventured sometimes to creep up the
stair, but for some time he never even saw her: for days Eppy never
went out of doors except into the garden.
Pages:
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308