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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"The Husbands of Edith"


Come, now, let's talk over the situation sensibly."
Just then they passed beyond the hearing of the astonished eavesdropper.
Good heaven, what was this? Not his child? Two minutes later Mrs.
Odell-Carney was back at the spring where they had left her somnolent
husband, who had refused to climb a hill because all of his breath was
required to smoke a cigaret.
"Carney," she said sternly, her lips rigid, her eyes set hard upon his
face, "how long have the Medcrofts been married?"
He blinked heavily. "How the devil should I know? 'Pon me word, it's--"
"Four years, I think Mrs. Rodney told me. How old is that baby?"
"'Pon me soul, Agatha, I'm as much in the dark as you. I don't know."
"A little over a year, I'd say. Well, I just heard Medcroft say that she
wasn't his child. Whose is it?" She stood there like an accusing angel.
He started violently, and his jaw dropped; an expression of alarmed
protest leaped into his listless eyes.
"'Pon me word, Agatha, how the devil should I know? Don't look at me
like that. Give you my word of honour, I don't know the woman. 'Pon me
soul, I don't, my dear."
He was very much in earnest, thoroughly aroused by what seemed to be a
direct insinuation.
"Oh, don't be stupid," she cried. "Good heavens, can there be a scandal
in that lovely woman's life?"
"There's never any scandal in a woman's life unless she's reasonably
lovely," remarked he.


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