She wearied herself by proposing plans, and rejecting
them.
She was roused to a consciousness of time by hearing the
neighbouring church clock strike twelve. Her father she knew might
be expected home any minute, and she was in no mood for a meeting
with him. So she hastily gathered up her work, and went to her own
little bedroom, leaving him to let himself in.
She put out her candle, that her father might not see its light
under the door; and sat down on her bed to think. But again,
turning things over in her mind again and again, she could only
determine at once to put an end to all further communication with
Mr. Carson, in the most decided way she could. Maidenly modesty
(and true love is ever modest) seemed to oppose every plan she could
think of, for showing Jem how much she repented her decision against
him, and how dearly she had now discovered that she loved him. She
came to the unusual wisdom of resolving to do nothing, but strive to
be patient, and improve circumstances as they might turn up.
Surely, if Jem knew of her remaining unmarried, he would try his
fortune again.
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