If you think this account of mine confused, of the half-feelings,
half-reasons, which passed through Jem's mind, as he stood gazing on
the empty space, where that crushed form had so lately been
seen,--if you are perplexed to disentangle the real motives, I do
assure you it was from just such an involved set of thoughts that
Jem drew the resolution to act as if he had not seen that phantom
likeness of John Barton; himself, yet not himself.
XXXIV. THE RETURN HOME.
"DIXWELL. Forgiveness! Oh, forgiveness, and a grave!
MARY. God knows thy heart, my father! and I shudder
To think what thou perchance hast acted.
DIXWELL. Oh!
MARY. No common load of woe is thine, my father."
--ELLIOT'S Kerhonah.
Mary still hovered between life and death when Jem arrived at the
house where she lay; and the doctors were as yet unwilling to
compromise their wisdom by allowing too much hope to be entertained.
But the state of things, if not less anxious, was less distressing
than when Jem had quitted her.
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