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Gaskell, Elizabeth Cleghorn, 1810-1865

"Mary Barton"

I didn't know but that I should be more haunted than
ever with the recollection of my sin. Oh! God above only can tell
the agony with which I've repented me of it, and part perhaps
because I feared He would think I were impatient of the misery He
sent as punishment--far, far worse misery than any hanging, sir."
He ceased from excess of emotion.
Then he began again.
"Sin' that day (it may be very wicked, sir, but it's the truth) I've
kept thinking and thinking if I were but in that world where they
say God is, He would, maybe, teach me right from wrong, even if it
were with many stripes. I've been sore puzzled here. I would go
through hell-fire if I could but get free from sin at last, it's
such an awful thing. As for hanging, that's just nought at all."
His exhaustion compelled him to sit down. Mary rushed to him. It
seemed as if till then he had been unaware of her presence.
"Ay, ay, wench!" said he feebly, "is it thee? Where's Jem Wilson?"
Jem came forward.
John Barton spoke again, with many a break and gasping pause--
"Lad! thou hast borne a deal for me.


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