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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete"

Do you suppose I care for being beaten? Bah! I no
more care for a flogging than a boy does at Eton: and only let the flogger
beware--I will be a match for him, I warrant you. The man who beats me is a
coward; for he knows I won't resist. Let the dastard strike me then, or
leave me, as he likes; but, for a choice, I prefer abusing women, who have
no brothers or guardians; for, regarding a thrashing with indifference, I
am not such a ninny as to prefer it. And here you have an accurate account
of my habits, history, and disposition.
Farewell, sir; if I can be useful to you, command me. If you insert this
letter, you will, of course, pay for it, upon my order to that effect. I
say this, lest an unprincipled wife and children should apply to you for
money. They are in a state of starvation, and will scruple at no dastardly
stratagem to procure money. I spent every shilling of Mrs. Jenkinson's
property forty-five years ago.
I am, sir, your humble servant,
DIOGENES JENKINSON,
Son of the late Ephraim Jenkinson, well known to Dr. O. Goldsmith; the
Rev. ---- Primrose, D.D., Vicar of Wakefield; Doctor Johnson, of
Dictionary celebrity; and other literary gentlemen of the last century.


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