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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete"

Recollect that, if you please. They like you to say you would
scrape the ceiling, at the Hall: they think it shows a ready invention in
emergency. Mr. Newcome, you have heard the last question and answer?"
"Yes sir," says the fresh arrival, as he finishes making a note of it.
"Well; you are sent for, to a man who has hung himself. What would be your
first endeavour?"
"To scrape the ceiling with the fire-shovel," mildly observes Mr. Newcome;
whereupon the class indulges in a hearty laugh, and Mr. Newcome blushes as
deep as the red bull's-eye of a New-road doctor's lamp.
"What would _you_ do, Mr. Manhug? perhaps you can inform Mr. Newcome."
"Cut him down, sir," answers the indomitable _farceur_.
"Well, well," continues the teacher; "but we will presume he has been cut
down. What would you strive to do next?"
"Cut him up, sir, if the coroner would give an order for a _post mortem_
examination."
"We have had no chemistry this morning," observes one of the pupils.
"Very well, Mr. Rogers; we will go on with it if you wish. How would you
endeavour to detect the presence of gold in any body?"
"By begging the loan of a sovereign, sir," interrupts Mr.


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