I failed him. In that I failed myself. Neither life nor nature
failed me--nor love. It is no longer a mystery. Unhappiness is only a
change. Happiness itself is only change. So what does it matter? The great
thing is to see life--to understand--to feel--to work--to fight--to endure.
It is not my fault I am here. But it is my fault if I leave this strange
old earth the poorer for my failure. . . . I will no longer be little. I
will find strength. I will endure. . . . I still have eyes, ears, nose,
taste. I can feel the sun, the wind, the nip of frost. Must I slink like a
craven because I've lost the love of one man? Must I hate Flo Hutter
because she will make Glenn happy? Never! ... All of this seems better so,
because through it I am changed. I might have lived on, a selfish clod!"
Carley turned from the mountain kingdom and faced her future with the
profound and sad and far-seeing look that had come with her lesson. She
knew what to give. Sometime and somewhere there would be recompense. She
would hide her wound in the faith that time would heal it. And the ordeal
she set herself, to prove her sincerity and strength, was to ride down to
Oak Creek Canyon.
Carley did not wait many days.
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