Barbara's destiny is ever
in my thoughts! I deemed her wishes very modest when she said to me:
'Strive to be as happy as I am!' Alas! her happiness is immense, when I
compare it with mine!...
Wednesday, _October 28th._
My parents' answer has arrived; they give us their blessing and wish me
much happiness; but the tenderness they express toward me is not like
that obtained and merited by Barbara. This is just; I suffer, but have
no right to complain. The prince royal expected to receive an especial
letter addressed to himself; but my parents have not written to him. He
is piqued, and conversed a long time with the prince palatine on the
pride of certain Polish nobles.
I feel more tranquil since my parents know our secret; my heart is
relieved from a most cruel torment. My parents promise not to reveal our
marriage without the prince royal's consent; one may see in their letter
both joy and surprise; but there is a tone of sadness in my mother's
expressions which touches me deeply. She says:
'If you are unhappy, I will not be responsible for it; if you are happy
(and I shall never cease to beg this blessing of God in my prayers), I
will rejoice, but at the same time regret that I had no part in
contributing to your felicity'....
These words are almost illegible, for I have nearly effaced them with my
tears.
The curate from Maleszow will arrive next week, and we will be married
immediately after.
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