The prince palatine has had the necessary papers
prepared, and no one has any suspicion. I can scarcely believe that my
marriage is so near.... No preparations will be made for me; all must be
conducted with the greatest secrecy. When Barbara married, she had no
reason to hide herself; all Maleszow was in commotion on her account.
If I could only see the prince royal, I should feel consoled. But
sometimes two whole days pass by without any possibility of meeting him.
He is afraid of exciting the king's suspicions, and still more, those of
Bruhl; he avoids me at all public assemblies, and comes less frequently
to the prince palatine's. To all these painful necessities of my
position must I submit.
Yesterday evening, at Madame Moszynska's _soiree_, I accidentally
overheard a conversation which pained me deeply. A gentleman whom I did
not know, said to his neighbor: 'But the Starostine Krasinska is
terribly changed!' The answer was: 'That is not at all astonishing, for
the poor young girl is madly in love with the prince royal, and he is
somewhat capricious; when he sees a pretty woman, he falls in love with
her immediately, and now he is all devotion to Madame Potocka, and has
eyes for no one but her.'
I am sure the prince pretends to be occupied with other women that he
may the more readily conceal his real feelings, and yet I shuddered when
I heard this conversation. It is really frightful to be the subject of
such improper pleasantries!
If I only had a friend in whom I could confide, and whose advice I could
ask! My maid is as stupid as an owl, and suspects nothing, but
notwithstanding, she is to be sent to the interior of Lithuania, and in
a few days her place will be supplied by a middle-aged married lady of
good birth and acknowledged discretion.
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