The valet who came to take the princess's orders during the
latter part of our conversation, mentioned throughout the mansion that I
was going to Sulgostow to pass the Christmas holidays.
Chance decided my fate, and, incapable of forming any resolution, I was
happy in permitting myself to be guided by others. Before I left, I
wrote a long letter to the prince royal, which I confided to the
princess. In less than two hours all my arrangements were made; I came
and went, I acted mechanically, without fixed thought or purpose; I was
finally placed in the carriage with my lady companion, and the horses
bore us rapidly away from Warsaw.
When I beheld the walls of Sulgostow, I began to think upon how I could
best acquaint my sister with these incredible events; but once in her
presence, my confusion was such that I lost the power of measuring my
words, and hence she fancied I had gone mad....
Now that all has been explained, we laugh together over this strange
mistake, but such laughter is only a momentary forgetfulness of my
position, and a passing truce to my torment. These first two days have
been most painful, for I have as yet heard nothing from the prince
royal. I cannot express my grief and my anguish; my health must be very
strong not to have suffered more from such torments.... At least, may I
not hope that my dreams of bliss will one day be realized?
THE GREAT STRUGGLE.
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