Save him, O God!'
The young man remained alone, utterly alone, in the midst of the great
city, and was soon forced to seek companionship with his fellow beings.
It was strange, meanwhile, how black the heavens grew, as if the whole
sky were sheeted with a curtain of lead. I saw him now constantly in the
streets, the rooms, and in the midst of the people: he fascinated my
gaze as if I saw only him. Under the calm of a tranquil face, he
concealed bitter torment, intense suffering. Evil thoughts are winding
through him, like swarms of black and poisonous worms, while the good
are also thronging near him, like clouds of bright blue fireflies. The
worms crawl over his heart, boring and bleeding it as they writhe; the
fireflies would burn out the black congested gore, and cure the
festering wounds, but new swarms of reptiles are forever sliming into
life, and ever deeper and more gangrened are the wounds they make.
Everywhere danger, everywhere torment; there is no human being whom he
may trust! He too must learn to deceive in turn, to betray even women
and children; must learn to lie as the masterpiece of art. He attains
skill in the profession, and can command looks, smiles, tears, emotions;
but alas! the light in his clear eye, once rivalling the young beam of
day, no longer flashes from his pupils. Pity him, O God! his very
garments become a lie; he throws aside the costume of his nation, in
which he once rode so freely over the boundless steppe.
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