Shall I tell you how I lost my place? Oh, say so plainly, if
you don't think my little anecdote worth listening to!"
"My dear sir, I am waiting to hear it."
"Very good. No offence, I hope? That's right! Well, sir, the captain of
the ship complained of me to the owners; I wouldn't go round, every
morning, and knock at the ladies' cabin-doors, and ask how they felt
after a sea-sick night. Who doesn't know what they feel, without
knocking at their doors? Let them send for the doctor when they want
him. That was how I understood my duty; and there was the line of
conduct that lost me my place. Pass the wine. Talking of ladies, what
do you think of my wife? Did you ever see such distinguished manners
before? My dear fellow, I have taken a fancy to you. Shake hands. I'll
tell you another little anecdote. Where do you think my wife picked up
her fashionable airs and graces? Ho! ho! On the stage! The highest
branch of the profession, sir--a tragic actress. If you had seen her in
Lady Macbeth, Mrs. Vimpany would have made your flesh creep. Look at
me, and feast your eyes on a man who is above hypocritical objections
to the theatre. Haven't I proved it by marrying an actress? But we
don't mention it here.
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