Mountjoy's recovery. But,
even from that loving and generous heart, I must not accept expressions
of gratitude which would only embarrass me. All that I have done, as a
nurse, and all that I may yet hope to do, is no more than an effort to
make amends for my past life. Iris has my heart's truest wishes for her
happiness. Until I can myself write to her without danger, let this be
enough."
In those terms, dearest of women, your friend has sent your message to
me. My love respects as well as admires you; your wishes are commands
to me. At the same time, I may find some relief from the fears of the
future that oppress me, if I can confide them to friendly ears. May I
not harmlessly write to you, if I only write of my own poor self?
Try, dear, to remember those pleasant days when you were staying with
us, in our honeymoon time, at Paris.
You warned me, one evening when we were alone, to be on my guard
against any circumstances which might excite my husband's jealousy.
Since then, the trouble that you foresaw has fallen on me; mainly, I am
afraid, through my own want of self-control. It is so hard for a woman,
when she really loves a man, to understand a state of mind which can
make him doubt her.
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